While in high school, I was captain of the varsity volleyball team for two years. I attended the Genesee Area Skill Center where I studied forensic science and was a member of the Technical Honor Society and HOSA (Health Occupation Student Association).I am currently involved in a scholarship program called CEO (Committed to Excellence and Opportunity) here at UM Flint.I am the oldest of four children being raised by a single parent.
Often times, committees are sorting through large numbers of applications and essays, perhaps doing an initial quick sort to find the best applicants and then later reading some of the personal statements more thoroughly.
Given that information, you will want your statement to readily engage the readers, and to clearly demonstrate what makes you a unique candidate--apart from the rest of the stack.
My life has been a struggle at times, but my hard work, determination, and enthusiasm for my education and my community has brought to UM Flint where I can pursue my dreams.
My academic plans are to major in pre-med and minor in chemistry.
Use words like ‘good candidate,’ ‘well-prepared,’ ‘good leaderships skills’ and other terms that remain modest while demonstrating your abilities.
Avoid exaggerated terms like ‘fantastic background,’ ‘my eternal passion for learning,’ ‘my exceptional skills,’ ‘my outstanding leadership ability’. Have someone else read over your essay to make sure that you have not made any exaggerated claims, but have clearly given enough detail to indicate your skills fully and accurately, your thoughts are well articulated, and it is easy to follow.Obviously, it is important that personal statements are not simply prose formulations of material contained elsewhere in the application.It may be helpful to think of the statement as the single opportunity in your package to allow the admissions committee to hear your voice.Your scholarship essay is a very important part of your application.Through your essay the selection committee is able to see you as more than a GPA or major. You will most likely not be able to devote an entire paragraph to each idea, so instead, consider a way to logically group some ideas together into one section/category.These include the following qualities taken directly from forms that are used for letters of recommendation for scholarships (Consider which ones fit your experiences best or others not listed here): Choice of words is important.You must be modest and yet ‘brag’ about your abilities at the same time.Be sure that each of your paragraphs begin with a clear topic sentence which indicates which topics you are focusing on in that paragraph.You must stress how your experience helped you to develop the kinds of skills and qualities that selection committees are looking for in a good candidate.After medical school, I will do two years of residency to gain experience to complete my studies and training for my chosen field, a forensic nurse.I’m a hardworking-dedicated student, who focuses on my studies, yet I have always enjoyed being involved in extracurricular activities.